Scared

Okay so for the first time in my life I saw an obgyn today. The reason for this was due to a papsmear my family doctor did while checking my I.U.D since it has been in for 2yrs That appointment was uncofortable but like many the hospital did before they ruled my appendix as the problem almost three years ago and no worse than actually getting the IUD but this appointment sucked. The doctor was really nice and I will definatly see him again but since my pap had come up abnormal I was sent to him and he had to do some tests one of those was called a cervical wash. He literrally tried to use those opener things to force my cervix open um Hello I am not pregnant its not supposed to open duh.... Anyway he did the wash after moving my cirvex around from side to side lets just say ouch and it showed sign of ciervical change so next came bioposies three of them that was the worst part ever. I know keep saying how I want a kid soon but after having parts of the cirvix removed and him just slightly opening it I can imagaine having a baby of course I know the pain is for a better more prescious reason and i still want one in the  near future. Oh they are checking for cervical cancer and cervical dysplasia which scares me to death but I say now BRING IT ON GOD OR TAKE ME AWAY. I know he only gives us trials that we can handle and eventually they bring us closer to him I just think I have had my fair share these last 5 years..