Inspired

Today is one of those days when I could not help but sit and think of all that I have gone through these last four years. To break it down during the last for years I spent all of what was supposed to be the funnest time in my life, Senior year in a school i didnt want to attend and didnt really as i was in and out of Primary Childrens all year once in the PICU then put on home and hospital so i missed out on everything. From there I had a TIA or mini stroke found out it was caused by a heart condition. Began suffering from severe migraines related to the heart condition and high blood pressure. I had my appendix out and due to my medical problems lost my job and am unable to do the one thing that matters most to me right now which is work with toddlers and be a mommy. I sat and cried for awhile, then I got angry, then I prayed. I didn't get the answer I wanted and it was not so clear but I could feel the spirit and the saviors love around me which is something I have not felt in years because I blamed him for my trials. Yes he is giving them to me but today I really realized that through all these trials I become stronger and closer to God even when I was doubting whether he cared or not. I can say from experience that even when you give up on our Heavenly Father that when you really need him and ask for his guidance and truly listen that he is there but you have to accept his presence. He doesn't always give the answers you want or answers at all but you can feel him like a warm hug.. It was the best feeling ever. I know with my health that I will continue to struggle and ask why me, why this or want to give up but through prayer I am connected to god and he will help me get through anything because he only hands us what we can handle, what makes us strong. I guess I am a tough cookie lol.This song by Miley Cyrus is what keeps me going so please listen to it.